Why I Don't Celebrate Birthdays

Before I start ... Damn.
Haven't written on this side of the blog for like half a year now - time flies, and the more you think things haven't changed is the more they do. Need to do my best to get at least a post a week on this though.

Enough sidetracking.
So I turn 20 in like ... 3, now 2 minutes and the question that's been bugging me is 'why do we even celebrate birthdays?' I mean, why celebrate the day you emerged headfirst from your mother's vagina? (No disrespect to your mother, or her vagina, I'm sure they're both wonderful). We've essentially built up entire industries predicated on the fact that you should feel some sense of achievement on surviving to see the same date for another year (wait ...there is SOME sense to that) ... (wait... Isn't that what all holidays are predicated on?)

But, I digress.

Notwithstanding the fact that I've used predicated in the same paragraph twice or the fact that I actually used the word notwithstanding (damn my short attention span), there is more to the fact that I don't (usually) celebrate (my own) birthday. It honestly embarrasses me that people will go out of their way to make me feel special for one day out of the year, and the day isn't even of my choosing. If my parents had decided that they weren't in the mood the very night I was conceived I would probably be writing this rant either one or a few days earlier or later.

Furthermore, why don't we focus on making the ones we care about feel special about themselves ALL THE TIME? Instead of on occasions such as birthdays?

Now for the hypocrisy.
By the time you read this I will either be asleep, in class, or stuffing my face with birthday cake because ... well ... I love cake. So whether you celebrate birthdays or not, the world's your oyster. Try to make every day memorable... Not just your birthday/buss-outta-pum-pum-day/earthstrong

Fear

"I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear." - Rosa Parks


Why do we fear though? I mean ... What good comes out of limiting oneself? Of choosing not to act?
I guess some would say it's a characteristic granted to us through evolution that enables the future survival of the race. Or it could be that we're genetically programmed to avoid failure. ... Maybe fear is an internal challenge, one that opens many other possibilities.

So what to do with fear? I've been told - channel it (No, not TVJ and not the cologne) but use to to empower your actions. Courage I believe they call it. Taking a chance in spite of the odds, whether real or imagined.

The daily challenge is to rise above fearful situations, while never allowing them to get the better of us. Why? Because we rule our destinies. We ultimately choose the path we take.
Therefore, no one but you is responsible for you successes, failures, or anything else that happens to you (going to do a post on blame soon).

Finally. On the topic of fears, face them. Nothing has ever been gained by shying away from challenges.

Writing

The act of putting pen to paper and letting inspiration lead from the front, in the hope that what you write is worth reading, legible. The more noble of us hope that what we write will stand the test of time, a feat reserved for the greats.

The consensus among poets is that they can't write unless they're sad or otherwise emotionally disturbed, and I've always pondered it. Is it that misery needs company? I think we're all selfish, really. We want to burden people with our sadness while keeping the happy to ourselves.

Although in all actuality, what more can be written about happiness? Everything written now almost sounds cliché; simple because so many people have said it before. Sadness though? So many shades of it that new words to describe it will never cease to be found. The 'Infatuation with Sadness' I call it.

Or is it that our vocabularies are skewed to the negative? "Can't", "Doubt", "Unlikely", "Impossible"? Way easier to bring to mind than "Joy" or "Carefree". The world is a serious place after all.

Still, writing is arguably the best way to secretly express yourself. After all, everyone* hates reading. So to keep it private, put it in a book. It also allows reflection, there are very few lies when you 'put it on paper', especially when it's written to yourself.

So what do you write about?

*Not EVERYONE. But approximately 95%** of people

**Statistic completely made up

The 'Now' Generation

"We live in a generation of ... not being in love, and not being together. But we sure make it feel like we're together, cause we're scared to see each other with somebody else ..." Drake - Doing it wrong

The NOW generation. We have EVERYTHING at our fingertips. Was that how it was meant to be though? Certain things take time to build: success, skill, relationships. All things that can't be rushed. The process is just as important as the fulfilment of whatever the process leads to. Us being in the now generation means that this is subject to some conditionalities:
1. The entire process being rushed. You ever heard somebody say 'if mi did know', chances are that they had the chance to learn it, but ignored it with a view to achieving 'bigger' goals.
2. People not trying at all. Trying is work, and most people have a block to working. Remember, 'Now' generation. We have it all, why work for it?

On relationships though ... I'm sure we've all had one person we wouldn't want to see with anyone else YET we fail to give them more than a 'wait and see'. What are we really waiting on? Better to come along? Or does it go back to the fear of trying?

Questions upon questions. With no immediate answers.

Anyways, back pan di trod. Understanding and taking it slow is the pree.

Second Chances

"Change your nature, you're a dead man" - Jude Law [Alfie]

"You can't repeat the past" - Nick Carraway; The Great Gatsby

So as the title said, today's post is about *drumroll* second chances.

Ever made a mistake that you'd do anything in your power to fix? My advice, go for it.You never know what you'll learn. You may never be able to fix it, but so what? You get an 'A' for effort in your life's report card. Better to have tried and failed, than to not have tried at all.

But seriously though; a second chance will never be as good as the first one was. The remnants of whatever mistake you made will still be there leading to either: unresolved feelings, hidden hate, or overall destruction of whatever the second chance was to represent. Consider it the ultimate gamble, high risk, high reward. You lose, you learn... You win, then we won't need to have this conversation.

Best advice. Make the people in your life know what they're worth to you everyday, that way you're less likely to lose them. Trust me, I've lost a lot, losing friends/family/people closer than that hurts. Especially when you were a big part of it.

Till next time.
JKav

Reflection

The human race is more advanced than it has ever been in this moment in time. Medicine, technology, infrastructure. There is so much going on around us that the mind boggles when one aims to condense it all.

That leaves the question: Have you created something new?

Have you ever had an original thought, and original idea?

I ask because the truth is that the majority of what we do is regurgitation, and this is through no fault of individuals; we're programmed through education to repeat exactly what we learn. The better of us draw from more than one source of knowledge. But is it original?

Is it original when someone asks you what's your philosophy and you hurry to google to find a quote from some dead philosopher?

I mean, there is room for hybridization, and sycretism, but too many of us are organic photocopiers.

So as I always say, look within. Like really look, and be surprised what you find.

-We all have a unique path to trod, harder to see with your real eyes in these modern times.

Humanity

"What happened to the love that they were all talking about?"
-Love the Way it Should Be
-Prince Lincoln Thompson & The Royal Rasses


Ever just sat and thought? Then thought and thought some more? Then realize that no matter what you conjure up in your mind, it will never become reality until you act on the thoughts? The mind is a curious thing. It makes you see both victory and defeat where no battle has been fought, or even where a battle will never be.

Logic is sometimes a bitch. But then again, so are emotions.

All part of being human. Curious word really, add an 'e' and you end up with humane: "marked by compassion, sympathy, or consideration for" although that's normally used when referring to actions which were already inhumane, such as prison. Tale the 'n' on and you're left with 'huma' - 'an mythical bird which never comes to rest'

Guess we'll stick to the origin word, we were never a flexible species.

So human. We all eat, drink (some more than most), we bleed red. We all believe ourselves infallible in a sense. I think the universe has irony in presenting you with what you think would make you happy... Then watching you screw it up.

Speaking of happy, I've always asked the question:
What is happy?

In all honesty ... I'd been clinging to the maxim 'Some men weren't meant to be happy, they were meant to be great" and in all my introspection, I've realized I may be going about it the wrong way, eschewing happiness for greatness.

Happiness is important - A lesson learnt from a friend.

But, what if greatness is an extension of that happiness? I think we put too much stock in quotes and maxims anyway. So worldview changed, just like that.

For someone so smart, I've been blind and dumb for quite a while.

In all honesty, we judge our own paths and success based on those who have gone before us ... And I always say 'trod your own road'. Not sure I've believed it fully until now. 

So don't completely throw away the past, learn from whatever mistakes occurred. But for your sake, make sure the way you choose to go forward is unique.

And that is where this ends. Be yourself*. Corny, but so many people fail at it, that it needs to be said.


*Unless yourself is a degenerate. In that case, seek help. Seriously, there are people out there who want to help.